I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
