So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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