The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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