a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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