Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
