North Korea, Best Korea!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
