thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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