But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
