did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
