Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
