i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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