There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
