Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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