so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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