i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
