No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
