I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
