Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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