i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
