There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
