Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
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more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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