Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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