jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
