god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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