Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
