Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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