Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
