We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
