nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
