I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
