Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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