I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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