Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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