$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
