Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
