i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
