Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
