i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize