Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize