i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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