He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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