Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
