i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
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