Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I skipped work to stalk him.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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