I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
