tell your sister to shave her snatch
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
