just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
