i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
