The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
