i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
