Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
