I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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