He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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