rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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